With a last minute push from my Coach I decided to enter the Greater Springfield Duathlon.
I knew my limits and where my fitness was at so I decided against registered for the standard distance and instead did the sprint – 5km run/20km ride/2.5km run.
I went out on the first run feeling fantastic, there was a little difficulty in breathing due to sinusitis but finished 5km in 22:51. I was happy with that knowing that my run off the bike is strong.
I had anticipated the bike leg to be challenging since it is a hilly course and it didn’t disappoint. Coming off of marathon training I knew my bike leg was weaker, pair that with illness and it was always going to be a tough day out. But as I slowly made my way up the hills I kept beating myself up!
“It shouldn’t hurt this much”
“I can go faster than this”
“yeah I’m sick but I can do better”
The ride was a constant negative battle with my own head. My own harshest critic, my own bully. Instead of enjoying racing I spent it demoralising myself.
Getting onto the second run leg, normally my best, I’d beaten my own confidence down so much that I gave into my head and “It’s a bad race day”. I ran an average of 4:50/km pace which is slow for me.
My crew normally tell me how easy I make running look, yet they even commented on how I looked like I was struggling and uncomfortable.
Yes, I was sick and breathing wasn’t easy, but it was my head that controlled the race.
I came third in my age group and should have been delighted, but even now my head says “yeah, but there were only 6 in your age group”.
There’s some mental work I need to do, but for now I’ve decided I’m going to ‘fake it til I make it’. I’ve arranged to go and collect my third placing medal and celebrate my achievement. I am going to own it, #medalmonday it and be proud!
I never expected a placing and that wouldn’t have happened if I had of pulled out like I considered that morning, thinking “if I can’t give it 100% why do it?”
I love the saying ‘done is better than perfect’ because getting it done produces better results than waiting around for perfection to come.